Dedication

On Saturday we dedicated our son to God. We invited mostly people whom we believe we will still be friends with in 10, 20, 30 years from now … basically people who will see our family grow. In my opinion it was an event I felt I did the less preparation for. I barely organized anything and a few days leading up to the event I began to worry about whether I did enough for my son.

To my surprise the event was a success. The church ceremony was short and sweet with most guests turning up to the ceremony. Everyone looked lovely, well dressed and polished. The reception was held at Siam Corner, a local thai restaurant down the road from us. The feedback on the food was it was delicious and the buffet option was a hit. I noticed most people went back for seconds and thirds. The giveaways, macaroons wrapped in personalised tags that Ian and I did at the last minute was well received. Someone even asked whether I got it done through a third party vendor.

I was glad and relieved that the whole day was simple, beautiful and an intimate affair.

Eli was also well behaved (as always). He slept through most of the ceremony and the reception. At both occasions we eventually woke him up from his sleep so we could take photos as proof he was present (and awake) at his own dedication. A lot of people commented on how cute he looked and how well behave he was all day. Around large groups of people he usually keeps quiet and observes his surroundings, a character trait I hope and believe he will carry on as he gets older especially when he’s a toddler.

During the ceremony Ian read out the love letter I wrote to our son before he was born. I wrote it after a message I heard from a guest speaker at church. He exhorted on how he physically wrote down prophesies on his children’s lives and explain that they came to life and encouraged us to do the same with our children. So I wrote a love letter to my son detailing the kind of man I want him to be and explained the love his father and I have for him. When Ian read it out loud I felt a little emotional however I contained it because I didn’t want to cry in front of everyone. After the ceremony several people came up to me and said how beautiful and blessed they felt hearing my letter and what an impact it had made on them. Again I was surprised by this feedback. I know I put my heart into this letter so I know what I wrote is with the most sincerity.

Below is the love letter to my son … as suggested by some tita’s I will write this and frame it to be kept in his room.  

"To our dearest son,

Firstly know that you are loved. Before you even come into this world the though of you made our hearts over flow with love that we never knew we felt. May you feel that love throughout you life not just from us your parents but from our families and those you choose to open your life to. You are the most precious gift God gave us and we will cherish you forever. Your life was perfectly timed at this moment for you have a purpose.

Before you were born we knew you will be knowledgeable beyond your years, exhibit many talents and posses unique gifts God crafted especially for you. You will be beautiful inside and out, posse confidence with humility, be compassionate and giving, sweet and loving - a true gentlemen. You will be obedient and honest especially to your parents.

You will be successful and reap rewards in everything you put your heart into. You will be a role model and leader to many, making a positive impact in whatever area you pursue in life. You will love your family and be close to us and your future siblings.

Remember to dream big and never stop dreaming for God has great plans for you, plans beyond your wildest dreams. You will achieve things that will surprise you and be set apart from those around you.

Most of all you will be God fearing and have a relationship with your creator.

Our encouragement is for you to know that your misjudgements do not define you, do not take into heart negative criticism but learn from your errors and avoid the same pitfalls.

Son, you have bought out the best out of us but know we are not perfect. At times we may not meet your expectation and we may make decisions that may seem unfair but you will understand those reasons later in life. Our words and actions are never to harm you but to equip, challenge, guide and protect you.

Know that you have our support and our love forever. We love you son

Love

Mama & Papa" 

Pastor GP doing the honors

With the Ninang's - SSL & YS

The Ninong's DD & MA

 Amazing dedication day. I couldn't have wished for a more special and perfect day for our son.

Weaning

I’ve decided to wean bubs off breast milk. I’m making this decision because I’m finding expressing at work annoying, time consuming and kinda embarrassing. I think the whole floor knows why I keep running to the first aid room two times a day. 

Last few days I’ve been reading up on how to do it so it’s comfortable and for me and Eli and I think the reason why he could be acting the way he is lately is because I am weaning. We’ve noticed when Ian and I are around he seems needy constantly wanting our attention, he isn’t sleeping well and his cries are different. These are some of the signs that maybe Eli isn’t ready for weaning. I know he’s taking the formula milk a lot better now. I guess cause he’s come to realise its either the formula milk or nothing else and he's eating solids more often too.

Another reason why I want to stop breast feeding is so I’ve slowly achieved it weeks or months before we leave for our holiday instead of forcing it when we are gone. I also don’t want to be carrying a pump with me on holidays going through the emotions of weaning while overseas.

Another interesting fact I discovered while doing some research is typically woman might feel a sense of sadness or distress and mood change during or after weaning has occurred. The reason is because our bodies stop producing prolactin which is a hormone that keeps you calm and relaxed. This probably explains why I have been so easy going and relaxed since the birth of Eli. Here I was thinking his birth has given me some peace and a new attitude towards things but the reality is I’m high on hormones. I’m worried about the affects on my behaviour once the affects fade away.

Never Enough

Yesterday Pastor GC preached at church. He preached on the story of King Soloman who had everything yet it was never enough. He took excessive to the extreme and still he felt empty. He reaslied through God, is the only way he could really value and truly enjoy what he had in his life. The story struck a cord with me.

I know that feeling of always wanting more, and more, and more. To me there’s always something better and because of that mind set I find I don’t seem to enjoy and value what I do have at that moment. My heart and mind is never at peace and it always yearns for something to fill it but can’t seem to find it.

Pastor GC echoed a really good quote … if only I can remember or find it online. It basically went along the lines of to truly enjoy what you have now you need to stop thinking about what you could have or what could have been.

I need to stop the whole “keeping up with the Jones” and the “wondering what-if’s” and just focus on my family and my relationships with people. Strong solid foundations start from home and once imbedded it will out last and out test anything it faces.

I also need to find God. I’m curious to know that content and fulfilled feeling Soloman talks about. The one that only through God will fill.

Mum Versus Mum

Today Eli had another allergic reaction to formula milk. Why do I say another because two days ago he experienced this already.  We decided to change formula milk brands. Why? Cause we noticed the current brand of milk we were feeding him he wasn't particularly finishing and noticed he would actually pull away as if he is refusing to drink it.

So we went from Nan and tried the Bellamy organic formula. He had a severe reaction causing him to throw up and break out in a rash which eventually turned into hives. It was a scary experience and I felt helpless watching this tiny little person go through this uncomfortable and painful experience.

We eventually got it under control by giving him half a dose of antihistamine, lots of cuddles and back to breast milk. We were also told by the doctors that he needs to come back and do an allergy test so we can assess what he is allergic to, but in the mean time give him as much breast milk or use previous brand of formula since there was no reaction.

Yesterday I come home and my mother had purchased a can of S-26 branded formula milk. She kept insisting that this brand is much better for Eli  because she used it with my sister when she was a baby. I felt obligated to use it because she had purchased the formula already and felt the pressure to give it to him.

Unfortunately Eli also reacted the same way to this brand of milk as he did with Bellamy. Again he projectile vomited everywhere and broke out in a rash and hives. Again I felt scared and worried and sorry for my baby.

I need to stop doing things because older mothers tells me or pressures me into doing things. I should just listen to my baby and to my instincts about situations. If I don't feel comfortable I shouldn't do it. I put Eli at risk because of my fear of saying no. I need to step up, stand my ground and be able to decline suggestions I instinctively feel isn't right. 

7 Months Today

It was little jing jing’s 7 month old celebrations yesterday. I really wish I could keep him as a baby forever. I wish babies remained this cute and perfect for a longer period of time. He’ll be talking back to me and getting married before I know it. I’m going to miss this precious and innocent season of their lives.

Another reason why I don’t want him to grow up is the older he gets the more mobile he becomes therefore exposing him to more dangerous and threats that is out there in the world. I know we can’t hide our children and I want him to live his life to the fullest I just fear for his safety especially when I’m not around. I worry about those who would want to harm him and I hope he doesn’t make regrettable mistakes.

I know I can’t avoid all these things but I hope to equip him to face these challenges in life. Equip him in ways I don’t think I was equipped to do so. Yes my parents implemented a nurturing and stable unbringing but there were so many unspoken conversations. Actually we didn’t really talk about things when I was growing up so I met certain cross roads or experiences with fear of the unknown

I plan to constantly talk to my children. Talk to them so they aren’t afraid to talk to me about anything. I want them to feel comfortable to discuss any topic, safe to share their options and open to tell me their experience.