Supermum

Who's a supermum? I am!!

Since we've been awake this morning (7:30am) I have fed Eli his breakfast, exercised, gone to the shops with Eli to get groceries, made Eli have a nap, washed and hanged his clothes, made a batch of Eli's meals, fed him his lunch and its only 12:48pm.

I am pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Actually now that I am a mum with more responsibilities I'm surprised how much I accomplish, things just need to get done. I guess that's why women were built with the skill of multi tasking.

Have you ever had a day where you achieved so much in the span of a few hours? What did you complete and within what period of time?

A Rock & A Hard Place

The project I'm on is expected to go live next month. So work has gotten really busy and demanding lately. I'm not really complaining, its expected working in projects.

I've been working on the same application since I commenced my employment. Same system just rolled out to another country. It's not that challenging anymore and I'm keen to learn something else and work with someone else besides the Project Manager who has been working on the same projects as well.

I don't agree with how this person runs or "manages" projects. Yes she completes the project but I think the quality of the outcome to me falls short in most areas. She focuses on components of the project which I think are trivial or in my opinion below what she should be worrying about. She deflect any responsibility of issues and rarely suggest solutions. When she talks to people she assumes they have the same knowledge as she does yet refuses to share any information. She makes decisions on behalf of the business based on her experience and knowledge of the company but she's not the business so it shouldn't be her call.

I guess now that we're at that phase in the project where all the components are being tested and questioned, there are many holes. Holes I think are her responsibility to have identified and mitigated, holes that I believe she should focus her time on closing instead of telling off the vendor cause the test environment is always down.

It's hard to work in an environment where you don't agree with the approach of a superior team member. I've worked in enough projects to know how to manage stakeholders expectations, realise when an approach is working or not working, identify processes for mitigating risks and when there's a poor project manager managing the project. It's even harder when this person is like office furniture in the company, that is they've been there forever. So its even harder to convince her to try new things or get other people to doubt her because of her loyalty to the company. 

ALT + TAB

I hardly go online and “surf” at work because we’re at the busy phase of the project at the moment. But every now and then I want to surf. I generally switch between knowing my a current affairs, researching for July or August or snooping on friends. I hardly do it but the last 2-3 times I have done in this past week the CIO of IT has walked up behind me to ask a question. I’m sure he’s wondering ‘Do I pay her to just surf all day?’ Its too obvious if I alt + tab straight away. I just got to commit to being sprung and act like it’s no big deal, play it cool, act like don’t care he can see my Facebook page or Instagram.

So embarrassing.

Latest Obsession

Image Editing Apps

With our up coming holiday looming around the corner it occurred to me I need to find and download some cool photo editing and enhancing apps.

Why?? Cause everyone else does it when they're on holidays and it makes me wish I was there. And guess what? ... it's my turn soon!!!!!

So far I've downloaded two: BeFunkyFx and XnView Fx. Both offer a variety of filters, lenses, effects and editing features that allows you to transform your photos into something that looks professionally taken and edited or to give it a particular look you're trying to achieve.

I've been playing with both the past few days and have edited some existing photos I had on my phone. Here are a few:

Do you recommend any particular photo editing apps?

The Changing World of Business

I've come to realise the growing number of people I know who are starting businesses online either through the form of an online store or blogging with the view to market and get paid to say wonderful things about other companies products. 

Just this week a major media company announced it will be changing its manufacturing and distribution to reflect the changing landscape of how people want its product.

The internet has allowed people to start companies with little capital and with hard work and persistence grow their small idea into one of the major competitors in their field. 

All of this obviously gets me thinking about me and my "brilliant idea" ... or at least wonder when it will come intuition. 

I thought I wanted to start a dessert table company but everyone is doing it now. It has turned me off / scared me into pursuing it. I also realised it requires a fair amount of out lay initially which unless you have paying customers then it does hit the pocket considerably, something I can't afford now with a baby. I guess I feel a sense of envy and urgency to get my sh!t together and seriously start something ... anything!! 

A Good Cry

Its been awhile since I had a good cry. I think having a cry every now and then is good for you. I say this because I believe it releases endorphins, I notice post a good cry your skin tends to look better and overall I think you feel better after it … most of the time. Yesterday was a “bad” day. I think the weight of everything going on around me was too much to bear. Reasons for my emotional outburst yesterday include:

• At work the constant back and forth of the same piece of work is making me doubt my abilities as a business analyst. The nit picking of the smallest irrelevant component of my work makes me question my skills and clouds my judgment. I feel very embarrassed when others have a constant dig at your work.
• Loss in basketball and my poor performance. I feel I really try and do my best when I play basketball and find it very frustrating when the effort does not pay off. I know I can be better, I wish I played better.
• Eli’s skin constantly flaring up. We try and do our best to keep his skin under control and it does clear up but then it starts up again. Its becoming frustrating and tiring constantly managing his condition.
• Eli didn’t sleep much last night meaning we didn’t get much sleep last night. He doesn’t sleep through the night as it is, but last night he was extremely difficult to put to sleep. We couldn’t figure out what was going on. He refused to eat, we made sure he was dry and we moisturised him so he wouldn’t be scratching himself but still he cried and fussed for most of the night.
• A rude email I got from a relative. I asked my mum’s cousin for a favor to mock up a cartoon picture of Eli for his 1^st birthday party invitation. I got the first draft the other day but replied with some feedback and changes. The response I got shocked me as I was told he could not do what I asked as its not his area of expertise and believes this would be a dragged out process which he does not care about. He rather not use his personal time to be doing what he does all day. I was annoyed at the attitude and rudeness. What did I ever do to him?
• The uncertainty of the unknown regarding where we’re going to live. Last weekend we looked at a house and also some display homes. We are undecided about whether to move to an existing home or build a brand new house. Location of where to live. If my parents are not going to be in the area for much longer well then what’s the point in living in the area considering its so far from work?

Everything seems all too much for me and last night I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. I just struggled to keep quiet about how I was feeling and I’ve been feeling like this for a couple of days now.

I feel my confidence dwindling and a lack a sense of purpose. I feel so alone at times and feel no one understands me. I question whether I do a good enough job in how I go about my day and wonder whether life would be better for everyone if I wasn’t around. I don’t expect praise for the tasks I do but I feel no one is there to encourage me. As full as your life may seem to everyone else you may actually feel it is quiet empty. 

I’m just so tired and over it. I just want a few hours break from my life.

Allergies

We saw the allergen specialist last week and discovered Eli has further allergies. Not only is he allergic to cows milk and eggs but also to wheat, nuts, soy and seafood. So basically he can’t eat anything … well that’s what it seems like. He’s on special formula which you can only buy with a script and he’s also seeing a dietician to assist in an eating plan.

Admittedly since last week his condition has cleared, he’s in a much better mood and I can see he is growing.

This morning I get a voice mail however advising me that his blood tests have come in and the doctor wants us to come into the office to discuss. When I spoke to the doctor I wanted to know how bad it was – I’m not waiting until this afternoon to know this information? Basically blood work came back with relatively high results to all allergies meaning if he was exposed to any of these proteins he may suffer from an epileptic shock. She talked about potentially have adrenalin (epi-pen) available for him as a precaution.

Poor Eli, he just want to be extra special (and expensive).