Second Child Syndrome

My second child isn't even born yet and already I'm feeling a bit of guilt.

Guilt that I havent been spending time bonding with him. I mentioned previously when I was pregnant with Eli, Ian and I would speak and rub my tummy in hopes he would hear and feel the love we had for him. This guy gets none of that.

I wanted to start writing down my what I call "prophesies" for my unborn child. Really it's just a Love Letter from us to our child. I did this with Eli and I wanted to do the same with baby number two. I met up with a friend on maternity leave who again raved on about how smart, confident, warm, cute and extensive Eli's vocabulary was at his age. Of course I thanked her and said "you think so?"  Admittedly I do hear those kind of compliments a lot and I usually shrug it off cause I just think people are being polite. But it occurred to me today that I claimed he would be confident, I claimed he would be intelligent, I claimed he would have wisdom beyond his years and already he seems to be fulfilling these prophesies therefore I shouldn't be so cavalier about hearing these kinds of comments. We shouldn't assume God's plans and grace will only be fulfilled in years to come, He could grant our every desire right at that moment.

So it got me thinking about baby man. (I've started called Eli "kuya". I explained to him today he won't be the baby soon and a new baby will be arriving in our family shortly, so he's been promoted to the title "kuya" which means older brother in tagalog). I started thinking about the Love Letter I wanted to write just for him ... and I'm coming up empty. 

I spend the whole day caring for Eli almost my every thought revolves around him. What to server for breakfast, how can I get him to eat more during the day, should I see the dr's about the skin pigmentation around his knees, what activities should we do today ... I try my best not to let ABC4Kids raise him, I try to teach him new things and get him moving as much as possible. It's hard not to want to play with Eli all day either. He's so entertaining and hilarious now I find myself recording the most smallest moments. Like how he wears my sneakers and tries to walk in them or places all his toy balls onto his high chair tray and attempts to carry it all from one side of the room to the other, or how he dances or attempts to sing along to music. 

When I start to think about what to write in my Love Letter for baby number two I notice I tend to make references to Eli in it. I guess there's nothing wrong with stating that the brothers will have a tight bond but what if we have more children they're not referenced. I want the letter to be personal for baby number two.

I'm struggling to write down the characteristics of what I think baby number two would be like without repeating what I wrote about Eli. Again, there's nothing wrong with both children being confient, intelligent and have wisdom beyond their years but they are two different people and I want two unique Love Letters.

I get so caught up nurturing Eli, which isn't a bad thing but I feel baby number two is getting neglected along the way. I'm not even thinking about buying any new baby items as I already have everything and can reuse it all, I'm in two minds about throwing a baby shower and Ian and I haven't even started talking about names yet. If anything I think Eli and bub have more of a bond. He jumps so much when he hears Eli's voice and Eli checks up on him more than I do - that's how I know they're going to be close.

I think the fact that I'm having another boy plays a factor in my neglect. Maybe it'll change once the baby is born. A newborn relies so much on the mother in the first few months that my priorities may change in October. Maybe the words for baby number two's Love Letter will come to me closer to delivery date.

It's going to be a challenge to be completely fair with two boys so close in age.  

Other mothers with same gender babies, how do ensure the second child doesn't just disappear under the first child's shadow?

The Big Reveal

Today was our 22 week scan that meant today was the day we got to find out whether we were having a boy or a girl. We knew we wanted to know, I don't do surprises.

I'm proud to announce Eli was right, we are having a .... Boy!! 

The scan examination took forever. At this scan they usually measure all different parts of the baby just to make sure there are ten toes and fingers, all key organs are there and looks to be functioning and our sonographer said everything looks perfectly healthy. She didn't ask us if we wanted to know the gender, we actually asked her to check and let us know.

She scanned across to where she needed to be and asked us both what we thought we were having. Ian replied with "A girl", I said "A boy", she said "Mum knows best, you're having a boy." She pointed out a section and said "That's his penis." 

We really didn't mind the outcome but of course one of the opposite of what you have at home would be lovely. Regardless, we're very blessed with another healthy baby boy.

Another man to love. I didn't think I could fall in love with so many men or be surround by so many men later on in life. I've always had my mum and sisters. I'm looking forward to lots of sports, smelly bedrooms, cooking for big appetites and being the only female in my home.

Although this recent news has opened Ian to a possible third child. I'm keen but we did have an agreement that the third child, if another boy would have my maiden name as his surname. My dad was the last boy to have his surname and he had all girls.

We look forward to properly meeting you little man. Your kuya has been dying for a playmate.

Crete Greece

I'm so bad. I'm still yet to finish reviewing all the things Ian and I did during our European holiday. I recently got asked about what to do and where to stay in Italy and Greece and oddly enough these are the two countries I haven't finished (or started) reviewing.

I recently posted a review of our accommodation in Crete Greece on Trip Advisor so I figured I'd elaborate on what I wrote.

Firstly, when we started planning our Europeian holiday we knew we would go to Santorini. It was the one place that was on my bucket list and if life had taken a different turn of events would have wanted to spend my 30th birthday there. I didn't spend my 30th birthday at Santorini but I did see the place within my 30th year, something I didn't think would happen so that's pretty amazing and totally blessed to have had the experience. 

There are so many islands in Greece but you only ever hear of Mykonos and Santorini. I recently heard of Crete after watching a very funny movie called The Inbetweeners. The movie is I guess a follow up from the sitcom also called the In Betweeners and if you get British humour you'd probably find it very amusing too. 

The island is a lot bigger than Mykonos and Santorini and offers visitors an array of activities not just the beach. On our Crete itinerary some of the things I wanted to check out included The Samaria Gorge National Park, a 16km treck through mountains and gorges ending at a beach. Balos Lagoon, a massive beautiful lagoon you can swim and snorkel at. Check out some ancient ruins at Knossos and get lost or people watch around the pretty town of Ayios Nikolasos.

Crete is one of those places you need a car to get around. There are public buses which is cheap however don't offer services across the whole island and run infrequently. Crete is one of those cities that tends to start the day late say 10am and stay open until very late. As one local suggested to us, to head out into town around 9pm as that is when most places are starting to pick up. There are so many restaurants, bars and clubs in the main tourist areas and so many hotels and resorts to choose from as well.  

Deciding where to stay was really difficult as the activities we wanted to do in Crete was spread out throughout the island. Also getting from one side of the island to the other can take up to 3 hours even though the island is only 150km in length. There's actually 3 airports available at Crete across various parts of the island. Unless you're planning to stay here for a long period of time its hard to try and squeeze everything you want to see and do on the island. 

We eventually decided on staying at a resort called Candia Maris Resort & Spa. When I booked directly with the resort we were quoted the all inclusive rates. This meant all meals, drinks, activities were included with our rate. This is actually the norm in most resorts in Europe (and I've heard in South America) and it's a much more enjoyable holiday experience in my opinion. We never once took out our wallets while at the resort as there was no more additional charges. 

Other positives of the resort include:

• Room was spacious with lots of space to move around. There was an arm chair and desk area and the balcony was very generous too.

• Rooms contained modern fixtures and had air conditioning. 
• The stocked bar fridge which was included with all in exclusive package and would be replenished when items were consumed. 

• There is a spa on site which isn't included in the inclusive package but strongly recommend getting a massage and using the spa. 

• Lots of options at the buffet however by the third day you do notice menu is on rotation especially breakfast and lunch meals. At dinner ever night there is a theme/cuisine however there is usually only one section of the buffet that has food from that country/cuisine. There is also snacks, morning and afternoon tea served between meals and a mid night snack service every night.

• If buffet is not your thing they do have 2 a la carte restaurants on site, an Italian and a Greek restaurant. However you have to book 24 hours (or more) prior to reserve a seat as they get booked out very quickly. 

• Pool bar provided canapés certain times in the day and again all included.

• Resort ran daily activities throughout the day and night such as a beach party once a week and a nightly disco! disco! for fist pumping. 

• Local staff were very friendly, spoke English and loved to have a conversation about the island and provide their recommendations on things to see and do. 

• Bar was open 24 hours a day.

• Rooms serviced everyday and free bottles of water left in the room daily which was nice since it was very warm most of the day.

• There is a gym on site and is used by locals so guest can only use gym between 9am-5pm everyday as gym gets busy with the members using it after 5pm. 

• The resort is right by the beach and there are free beach chairs, table and umbrella for guests to use.

• As mentioned there is a spa on site which is different to spa experience I’ve had back home or elsewhere. We did get a regular massage, used the hot and wet sauna but we also used the main spa pool. This pool has 12 different spots/stations, which you move around to slowly. Each spot disperses water onto you in different forms which massages different part of your body. It’s a wonderful experience we enjoyed it.

• Resort only 10 minutes by public bus and bus stops right in front of the resort.

Some of my cons are:

• The free wifi included with price only worked really well around the lobby area so lots of guests would hang around this area to be able to use the wifi.  

• The resort (the island as a whole) is mostly visited by other European tourist so resort hires activity coordinators and tour guides who speak these languages so they can communicate with guests in their native language. For example when we inquired about tours at the resort we were advised it would be in German so of course we didn't book any.  

20 Weeks

That's 5 months pregnant now. I've gotten interesting feedback from non parented or pregnant women saying we pregnant women need to stop using "pregnancy lingo" and just use number of months and weeks to make it easier for them to calculate and appreciate how far we are.  

No photos taken today unfortunately, but in the interest of making this post interesting I'll post up some photos I've found of me when I was pregnant with Eli. They've never been seen by anyone (except Ian of course) and once this phase of my life is over I doubt these photos would see the light of day.

Here are photos of me during my first pregnancy. Unfortunately the dates of when these photos were originally taken have been over ridden so I'm not sure how far I am at each photo.

Milestones

• Was able to get myself on the Case Load Midwife Program the hospital I will be delivering at offers. Basically it's when a dedicated midwife is assigned to look after you throughout your whole pregnancy process. A friend who completed the program told me about it and I thought it was a great alternative for those who are looking for a private care experience without the cost associated with one. One of major complains of the public maternity system is getting some random midwife at each antenatal appointment. The benefit of this program is a dedicated midwife is allocated to look after you. They complete all your check up's, review your results, will be present at your delivery (unless unable to attend for some reason) and will complete regular home visits post delivery. You have their mobile number and call them if you have any questions or concerns and you call them when you think its time to go into the hospital to give birth, instead of the maternity ward. It's a more personal approach and its like getting your own doctor in my opinion. I met my midwife this week, she's lovely and was totally unfazed by Eli running a muck in her office that morning. 

Feeling

• Varicose vein. First time I did experience this and again I've noticed these unsightly blue lines have appeared. Positive, they've appeared in the same spot at least I'm not getting them in new places. Negative, feeling some pain and tingling sensations around the area. Some women do experience varicose veins during pregnancy because the additional hormone progesterone, is causing the blood vessels in our bodies to relax. However while we're pregnant there is additional blood circulating in our body therefore putting a lot of pressure on our major veins to pump blood back to our heart. Unfortunately I probably have to live with the uncomfortableness during my pregnancy because its not recommended to do anything while I am pregnant and it usually clears up after birth, which did happen first time around.    
• So much bigger than my first pregnancy. Other mum's of 2+ kids have comforted me in saying that it's totally normal and they experienced the same thing. Its just playing on my body image demons. I worry about how big I may get and how hard would it be to lose it all. I was still 6kg off my pre pregnancy weight before I became pregnant again, so I never got back to my original weight first time around.   

Conversations

• When asking the kuya-to-be whether he wants a baby boy or girl his response is now "Boy!" Wow he changes his mind as often as mum does.
• Names. At this point we don't know the gender yet but we're starting to think of names we would consider. I think I've got hubby agreeing to one of my names. I'm sure it'll still be a bit of a heated discussion up until game day. 

Mother's Day 2013

Two weekends ago was Mother's Day. I wanted to write a post on my Mother's Day cause I found photos from last year's MD and wished I wrote a post about it so this year want to make the effort. 

This year again I was spoilt. Ian was asking weeks leading up to Mother's Day what I wanted or what I wanted to do. I seriously didn't want anything nor did I really want to do anything in particular.

Being four and a half months pregnant at the time I guess my stomach (cravings) tends to make decision for me. So I said I'd love to have a nice breakfast cause most mornings I have a piece of toast or a smoothie.

Sunday morning we headed over to Surry Hills to a highly reviewed cafe called Reuben Hills. The menu wasn't extensive but each item sounded delicious and interesting making the decision what to have really hard. We opted for three meals between the two of us and surprisingly we demolished each item. We had the not reuben wagyu salt brisket, pickled slaw, manchego & horseradish cream on rye, soft baked eggs with jamon, spinach, ranchero & rye and the tradesmans brioche eggs, jamon, avo & relish. My personal fave was the not reuben brisket sanga ... yum! We also shared a salted caramel milkshake between us and the dog's breakfast dessert afterwards.

 The Not Reuben

 The Tadesmans Brioche

 Salted Caramel Milkshake

Dog's Breakfast

After breakfast we headed into town for a spot of shopping. At present I've got a love hate relationship with shopping. I love to shop but hate buying maternity wear. I still have the maternity wear I had first time around, although I didn't buy heaps, but a lot of my existing mat wear is work wear. During my last pregnancy I don't recall venturing out much, I think I was just tired a lot or felt too lazy to want to see people so I didn't have a lot of casual wear. I just wore clothing next sizes up so I just borrowed my sister's old clothes they had sitting at mum and dad's place, which I don't have access to this time around or wore Ian's pants and shirts when I was at home. 

This time around I'm growing a lot bigger a lot quicker. I need to buy appropriate clothing cause I'm busting out the seams of my current wardrobe but I feel yuck when I try on clothes with this bump in front of me. So long story short I need bigger clothing but hating trying on clothing right now cause it's uncomfortable for me.

  

You really do feel the importance of Mother's Day when you are one. We always celebrated MD in our household and we always wanted to make the day special for my mum. But as a Mother now I really do realise and appreciate the everyday, selfless act my Mother has done for our family growing up even now.

Belated Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's and to be in the near or distance future.  

Grateful

I'm one of those people who sometimes suffers from 'the grass is always greener' syndrome. I'm sure it stems from a manifestations of my insecurities growing up of wanting to be liked, strict up bringing and being told to hold high expectations in life. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't be the person I am today without those experiences and beliefs but a recent conversation with a friend got me feeling a little envious of her carefree life.

But last night as I thought about events that has occurred these past several years I realised my life trumps pretty well too. Every year I'm blessed with something I never thought was coming my way and at that moment I was humbled and grateful for my pretty amazing life.  

Since getting married in 2009 I've gone on an unforgettable holiday with friends in 2010. In 2011 we welcomed our first child, 2012 hubby and I went on an amazing holiday through Europe and this year we're welcoming our second child. These were just key milestones that popped up in my head but I know I've been blessed far more greatly then I care to give myself credit for.

"Thank you Lord for all you've done for Ian, Eli, bub and I and for all you're yet to do, as your answer is always Yes and Amen." 

    

18 Weeks

Milestones

• Nuchal translucency scan. Almost missed this scan, as the window of opportunity to check for this is between 11-14 weeks and I got it done four days before my 14th week. Received results indicating a low risk, so we were very relived. I was beginning to have doubts cause of the few weeks prior to finding out I was pregnant I wasn't being completely good to my temple.
• My tummy has popped and harden a lot earlier this time around too. I already feel like I'm 7 months pregnant when I'm sitting under a table cause I can already feel that my tummy bump is in the way. That feeling came a lot later for me first time around but here it is, saying hi, making my current wardrobe very uncomfortable already. Hopefully that means bub is a lot bigger than Eli, but not too big please.  

Feeling

• Tired. Maybe it's because the baby is growing and unlike the first time I didn't have an infant to run after. I find I have waves of exhaustion. The insomnia at night doesn't help either.  
• Heart burn. Already?! Hate it with a passion! All the symptoms I experienced in the last few weeks of my first pregnancy I'm experiencing them so much earlier this time. I've been trying to follow the tips I found online to avoid heart burn during pregnancy. 
• Kicks. Last week I was able to let Ian feel one of bub's kicks. Its true what they say after your first pregnancy you tend to feel your baby a lot earlier at your consecutive pregnancies. I felt the little flutters around 14 weeks and now I feel my whole tummy jerk from bub's kicks. 
• Emotional and sensitive. I get teary watching The Voice auditions, easily offended by other people's comments and actions (especially if its unsavoury towards me) and a total mess when I take out my frustrations on my family. I've wondered in fear how I'm going to get through this and felt apprehensiveness of whether I am strong enough to nurture my family.   

Conversations

• Asked the kuya-to-be whether he wants mummy to have a boy or a girl? He replies with "GURL ... Yeehhaahh!" We'll try get it for you little man.
• Where to call home. We've been talking and looked into moving homes. Why? This place isn't our home. Never purchased it for that reason and because you know its not it just doesn't feel whole. Just difficult to make it happen with one income at the moment and Sydney home prices .... unbelievable and unpredictable.   
• Where to stay in Hawaii. Yep family babymoon holiday booked for Hawaii in July, but didn't realise it's peak period at that time so hotels are very expensive. And the taxes in Hawaii, are they just making that stuff up? This may be one of the more expensive holidays we'll ever go on but at the same time I can't wait!  

I'd really like to be doing these progress shots and updates more frequently but Eli is starting to hate posing for the camera now.