20 Feb 2016

2016 So Far

Ok, when did it February start cause I'm still thinking it's January. 

Posts have been infrequent on this blog lately. I wish it wasn't so. I do enjoy blogging, and because I do take pride in my little online space I only want to publish stuff I'm completely happy with. So because I want quality posts that reflect me, I don't like to rush posts just for the sake of having regular content.  

Life has been a little busier and challenging. Firstly the boys, who are both constantly surprising me with their growth and their personalities. There's Kai who's in the "terrible twos" stage, therefore testing his limits, being unruly and defiant at times. Kai's determined personality makes it hard to discipline him. Kai will yell and scream until he gets his way, and shows signs of aggressive behaviour when he's in situations he's not happy about. Eli has also changed. He's becoming more and more like a little boy and less of a toddler. He's into little boy things, likes to play a little more roughly, and knows what he likes and doesn't like. Making it a little harder to keep him entertained or pleased. He also questions more and very much well aware of what's going on around him, sometimes it's a juggling act trying to figure out how much detail or truth does he need to know. 

We started Kai in daycare this month, attending the same days as his Eli. Naturally he's still adjusting to his new environment, so that means lots of tears ... for Kai. Don't get me wrong all children take time to adjust to going to daycare, but there's definitely a difference in adjustment between Kai and Eli. Kai cries hysterically almost throughout the car ride to the centre. Trying to reason out why he shouldn't go. However since Kai started daycare, Eli has really stepped up to the kuya (tagalog for big brother) role. To help calm Kai down, Eli will tell him "It's okay Kai I'm just next door", or he'll agree to stay with Kai until he calms down, and apparently Eli looks for Kai at the playground during play times they're together. 

Their changing personalities haven't all been challenging. They're also even more hilarious now that we can all communicate and understand each other. Kai has always been cheeky and he knows when to turn it up for a laugh and Eli joins in or plays his own jokes now.  

Me, towards the end of 2015 I felt like I was putting a lot of pressure on myself and trying to put 100% into everything I was doing. As a result, I was starting to put a strain on myself and everything I was doing. I felt like a sh!t STHP cause I wasn't fostering my kids development as much, or cause the house was never cleaned. I felt like a sh!t business owner cause I was always chasing my tail on tasks. I felt like I wasn't looking after my body cause I had put on 4kgs, not eating well and started feeling like going to the box was a chore. I was easily irritable and not really responsive to people in general, even to my husband. I was shutting him out cause I was focusing so hard, and felt I had no time to take it easy.

Two months on and .... it hasn't really changed hahaa ... but I'm slowly trying to be more aware, since this week. I'm trying to eat at meal times instead of when I feel like I have time to, sleeping more even if it means napping with the boys, not force myself to go to the box cause it'll be a waste of money if I don't, slowly get back into prioritising a clean home, and just stop putting pressure on myself to be great at everything.

I've also been educated on the impact all this pressure has on the body internally. How lack of sleep, food and self-pressure impacts various internal systems, and as I get older I'm aware it's the internal health I need to look after as much as the external. 

So that's where Gen-Y Mum is at right now. I also celebrated 7 years of marriage a few weeks ago, registered for the CrossFit Opens which starts in a few days, the business has plateaued a little bit, but that's okay and starting to look at kindy for Eli. 

Life is busy, but I'm grateful and open to more. 

How have you been? I know we all have a million things going on so at times we like to use a blanket response like "Yeh good, same old." Hope things are looking bright for you regardless of what may be going on your life. 
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