15 Nov 2011

Happy 30th

It was my 30th birthday yesterday. It wasn't as memorable as I'd like it to be ... however I bet I'll remember how unmemorable it was. The outcome was totally my fault though.

I had organised a joint birthday party for Ian and I for some of our friends. We were even paying for their meals at one of my favourite restaurants. I had too much to drink in a short period of time ended up throwing up all over the restaurant, on myself, in a friend's car and left the party early in an embarrassing state. Ian ended up paying for a room at a hotel near by but we only stayed for 3 hours - so that was another waste of money. The following morning I had the worst hang over and could not stomach food so Ian's plans to take me to a japanese restaurant in town no longer proceeded.

The one day in a year that I'm suppose to feel special, I felt embarrassed and seedy. I ruined my day and I hate myself for it. I was really excited about spending the night with friends over a nice dinner yet I couldn't even last the night.

While at the hotel when I did finally manage to wake up Ian reminded me how much our son needed me. He later lectured me on how I should be thinking of our son at all cost. I think he was alluding to the fact that I shouldn't be behaving a certain way now that I'm a mother. Yes, I know this and it wasn't my intention to be that intoxicated.

I'm disappointed in myself. It was the worst birthday and I regret everything. I wish I could turn back the clock and do it all over again.     
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