4 Jan 2012


I only learnt what SAHM stood for recently. I would see it a lot on parenting forums and wondered 'what does that stand for?' ... well if you didn't know it's 'Stay at home Mom'.

I now know, understand, value the purpose and effort a mother who chooses to man (and maintain) the fort and raise the children. It's not an easy task and I'm not saying I am one or have decided to be one - although I'd love it ... I've just realised these last few days how hard it really it. 

Ian's been on annual leave the past 3 weeks which has been beneficial because it allows me to do the house chores and get on top of things I've neglected since having bubs. Having Ian watch and play with Eli allows me to do all the things I also need to do but couldn't cause Eli has all my attention and time. Once I'm done doing those things then its spending time with my family, breastfeeding, preparing for whatever challenges we have going on tomorrow and expressing. At the end of the day I'm exhausted and overwhelmed by this constant process. 

What more once I get back to work.  So much of my time is taken up by work and the commute, when will I get to sleep?

I'm already dreading the emotional guilt not being able to be 100% available in his first 3 years of life. I want to minimise being away from him or utilise as much time I have with him but who is going to ... cook a healthy meal, get the groceries to cook that meal, do the washing and ironing, be on top of the finances, ensure meals are ready for everyone the next day? 

I don't know how other people have done it in the past. I guess you learn tricks, short cuts? Maybe it gets easier - I'm sure it does. 
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