How to Wean My Baby Off Breastfeeding?

Kai's thirteen months old now and I think I'm going to start weaning him off the boob. Why? Cause he really looks for it now, pulling my shirt and does a little tanti when he can't find it himself. I've even tried to cover them to prevent him from getting to it and he gets so mad! 

For awhile I thought he only wanted the boob at night for comfort, but lately he wants it for .... whenever he feels like it, when he's bored, while watching tv ... I think he treats me like a dummy. 

I always thought since I was at home I wouldn't rush this and maybe this time let bub dictate this decision. No, I don't want to be breastfeeding a seven year old and in my head I think "that's not going to happen to us" ... but who knows? 

With Eli I weaned when he was eight months. I'd had gone back to work, and although I had all intentions to continue breastfeeding until he was at least twelve month old, my supply diminished considerably. I don't even remember how I weaned it just happened really. I guess dropping down from regular feeds to pumping twice a day helped the process. Eli was a lot younger, so he was none the wiser. Kai on the other hand, being older, and already declines food he doesn't want, is a little more persistent. And because Kai is wanting the boob on demand lately I've noticed a bit of an increase in supply and fear the weaning this time might not be so ... easy.

I've heard personal stories of painful engorged breasts for days, leakages and advice that once you decide to wean, you got to stay strong and stick to it. It's been likened to quitting smoking ... surely it can't be that bad?

So I'm asking for some advice and tips here. 

How old was your baby when you weaned him or her off the boob? What was your experience? And any tips to make the change as comfortable and pain free for me and Kai

Another Allergic Episode

Eli is having another allergic reaction episode. We are rattling our brains trying to figure out what could have been the trigger this time.

It started on Sunday morning. Aunty took him down stairs to play in the lounge room. He had a morning feed consisting of formula milk and he was jumping about the couch reaching and pulling on the curtains. After that we noticed a bit of redness around the face and by that evening it was around his mouth and every day since the condition has slowly gotten worse. This morning he looked like a swollen chinese baby again. His face was red, puffy. His eyes were chinky cause his face is swollen and he looked uncomfortable. We took him back to the doctors who suggested maybe it is the soy milk he is currently on and suggested we give him a diluted amount going forward until we see the allergy specialist on Tuesday.

It breaks my heart to see him in this condition. He's itchy, unsettled and overall unhappy. Because he hasn't been 100% in a long time I haven't been taking photos of him lately, I don't want any evidence of how bad his condition is.

Earlier Ian asked me "Do you think his condition would be in this current state if you were still breast feeding?" I know this all started when I stopped breast feeding. Thanks for making me feel even more like sh*t.

Weaning

I’ve decided to wean bubs off breast milk. I’m making this decision because I’m finding expressing at work annoying, time consuming and kinda embarrassing. I think the whole floor knows why I keep running to the first aid room two times a day. 

Last few days I’ve been reading up on how to do it so it’s comfortable and for me and Eli and I think the reason why he could be acting the way he is lately is because I am weaning. We’ve noticed when Ian and I are around he seems needy constantly wanting our attention, he isn’t sleeping well and his cries are different. These are some of the signs that maybe Eli isn’t ready for weaning. I know he’s taking the formula milk a lot better now. I guess cause he’s come to realise its either the formula milk or nothing else and he's eating solids more often too.

Another reason why I want to stop breast feeding is so I’ve slowly achieved it weeks or months before we leave for our holiday instead of forcing it when we are gone. I also don’t want to be carrying a pump with me on holidays going through the emotions of weaning while overseas.

Another interesting fact I discovered while doing some research is typically woman might feel a sense of sadness or distress and mood change during or after weaning has occurred. The reason is because our bodies stop producing prolactin which is a hormone that keeps you calm and relaxed. This probably explains why I have been so easy going and relaxed since the birth of Eli. Here I was thinking his birth has given me some peace and a new attitude towards things but the reality is I’m high on hormones. I’m worried about the affects on my behaviour once the affects fade away.

First Meal

I've been exclusively breastfeeding Eli since he was born. An achievement on my part for a number of reasons which I want to elaborate on:

• Breastfeeding, at first is not easy. Midwifes and pro breastfeeders will give you the impression that you just flop out your boobs, obtain a proper latch on position and away you go - it's not that simple. No one told you about the pain (at the start), the inconvenience (to the mother) and how more saggy they become. Plus the pressure to breastfeed and to do it for as long as possible. 
• Pressure from family to top up on formula. At the beginning Ian told me he wasn't bonding with Eli, that he felt left out as he wasn't doing anything so despite my fear that he might develop nipple confusion I decided to express milk as well. I had a manual pump and was pumping out 80mls of milk from both breast even after 40 minutes of pumping. I was feeding then expressing between feeds. It was the most tedious and frustrating process. To top that off I was being judged by the amount of milk I had produced. My mother-in-law (who was a retired midwife) would compare how much milk they gave newborns versus how Eli was drinking and my mother threatened to buy formula as she worried Eli wasn't getting enough. It was at time stressful as I felt like I wasn't being supported.   
• I experienced a drop in my milk supply at least twice. Once when I got on the mini pill and another when I got leg-less (literally) on my 30th birthday. I nursed exclusively during those times and got my supply up again. 

I knew I wanted to start him on rice cereal before I went back to work. I wanted to be the one to feed him his first meal. I asked friends on their recommendation on which rice cereal they used on their baby. They came back with comments on reactions, nutrients, organic versus non organic, vitamin enriched options and after much research I decided to make my own. I know I will be making his baby food, so why not rice cereal. 

My only concern is whether he is getting enough nutrients and vitamins from the food I make over the food I can purchase. So I guess the question is, is a controlled calorie meal like Lite'n'Easy better for you than a home cooked meal equivalent with all fresh ingredients? I'd like to think the later option is best so I'm giving him what I feel is best - a fresh home made meal, made by mama.  

So here is my recipe for home made rice cereal.

1. Grind 1/4 cup of wholegrain brown rice until powder consistency. Afterwards I suggest sifting powder twice to ensure there are no hard solids.

2. Bring 1 cup of water to boil then stir in the powdered rice. Mixing continuously until mixture becomes a portage like texture.

3. I suggest pouring the mixture into the sifter again to remove any clumps and lumps.

4. Serve to baby after 5 minutes or cereal has cooled down.

Yum!!

Refusing The Bottle

We've noticed something strange happening today, Eli won't take to the bottle - he's actually refusing it. This morning hubby mentioned he was doing this gagging reflex when he was trying to feed him and this afternoon when I tried to feed him the bottle he was doing the same thing. I knew he was hungry and when he first saw the bottle full of breast milk he quickly brought it to his mouth (I love it when he does that) but a few minutes later he started playing with the teat and was not swallowing the milk. So I stopped, wiped the excess milk which has spilled on his chin and proceeded to put the bottle back in his mouth. He would suck for a second but once he realised it was the bottle he would again stop drinking, arch his back and cry. He was getting really frustrated so I put him to the breast. 

I have been putting him to the breast more often only because I'm getting tired / lazy to express. Plus it's not like I don't need to be away from him at the moment. However I am worried he wont take to the bottle when he needs to take it, like when I'm away from him. Such as tomorrow morning when I need to pick up my parents from the airport.

I've been googling online to see if anyone else has had the same issue and it seems like its a common issue. Suggestions of other mothers who have tackled this problem include changing the bottle and nipples and to continue to be persistent in giving the bottle. I'm a bit confused in the change in behaviour, he'll usually take to the bottle just fine. Some friends with babies look at me with envy when I'm out with them and I can give my little man a bottle as their baby refuses it.

MJC feeds her daughter using the syringe approach as she refuses the bottle. I've seen her and her husband in action feeding their little girl and it really does take two of them to feed her. One to inject the syringe with the milk and feed it to their baby and the other to distract and encourage her to continue feeding. DT's baby girl also refuses the bottle so she doesn't go anywhere without her meaning she declines a lot of invitations if she is uncomfortable to breastfeed at the event. Knowing these mother's experiences I've come to realise that if the baby wants the bottle they will take it and if they wont then you need to come up with alternative ways for them to feed without you. They both attempted the bottle several times and it failed so they just seemed to have given up.

This recent behaviour isn't good, a bit over a month shy of me returning back to work. Plus I want to introduce him to rice cereal. I want to be the one to feed him his first "meal". I want to be present to see if he has any allergic reactions to the new food.

I don't really want to go out there and get new bottle and nipples. I don't know if I could force the bottle on Eli if he doesn't want it but I guess I have no choice at this point. I'm interested to know why this happens?

Uncle D bottle feeding Eli at 4 months

Got Milk

During the last week I've been tossing up whether I should give Eli other means of nutrition / food besides breast milk only because he's getting older and I worry that he's not getting enough for his growing body. A formula feed baby starts with 80mls of milk per feed and slowly increases to 150ml by four months so should my breast fed baby be drinking 150mls per feed?

Options at his age now could be rice cereal on top of breast milk and or as suggested by my mother in law (who is a retired midwife) topping up my breast milk with formula.

My concern about whether my baby is getting enough has been playing on my mind and making me doubt my ability to provide all he needs for the first 6 months. I've been emailing friends asking them what they did when their baby was Eli's age or their thoughts on my fears.

I googled to see whether my question has been circulated in other forums and found many different sources. Obviously your supply will adjust according to your baby's needs and there is an amount a certain aged baby should be consuming a day.

A really good source that I usually go to is Kelly Mom. The web site is dedicated to information just on breast feeding. I was able to find information as well as a calculator to determine how much my baby should be drinking per day. According to Kelly Mom my four month old baby who is nursing an average max 6 times a day, needs an average 125mls per feed which is how much I'm expressing, if I get a solid 3-4 hours time difference between last express.

So I guess I'm doing okay, he's doing okay for now. I do want to introduce rice cereal before I go back to work in February so I know whether he has any allergies to particular brands of rice cereal. Also I need to stop listening to "well meaning" mothers who last looked after a baby 20 plus years ago. Their old school and some times non proven approach to nurturing babies is how they did it at their time and I should just trust my decisions, my body and my baby on how I will nurture my baby today.

Did you ever worry about whether your older baby is getting enough on breast milk alone? What did you do to settle your concerns?