20 Dec 2011

Chronicals of Cam

I was planning to blog an entry last night. I started writing about a topic then I saved that post and created another one cause it I wanted to talk about a different topic. Then I thought about these two draft posts and the topics I was going to cover and thought 'is it really blog worthy? is it something I want to reflect on in a few years time?' The answer to both questions was no so I deleted both. 

Then I realised I had an old blog - 'The Chronicles of Cam'. A blog I started in 2003 and stopped writing in in 2010 (that can't be right I feel like I haven't blogged in .. years).  So I spent a good hour down memory lane and re read some of my posts. I noticed a reoccurring theme:
  • I write when I bored therefore most of the content is mindless yap about what I did on the weekend, the weather and random thoughts. And because I only wrote at times of bored ness my entries were usually very short.
  • I was obsessed with my weight. Admittedly I still do fuss over a number but reading on how regularly the thought of 'I need to lose or watch my weight' crosses my mind was a surprise to me. I don't know if it is healthy to be so consumed by those thoughts so much or because I do belong to a society where a certain look is glamorised I always felt my body was inadequate?
  • I write in such cryptic code that I don't know what I'm on about half the time. I guess its because my old blog was read by many friends I didn't want to expose too much detail out in the world wide web. Also an ex (not mine) had previously stalked my blog so again I didn't want to bare all.
  • How insecure I was early on with my relationship with my now husband.     
So this new blog I want it to have some substance, I'm taking a risk and allowing my entries to be a little more personal and I do want to look back in a few years time and recall the memories and feelings I had at this point in time. Especially my feelings and emotions of being a first time mom. 
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