Yesterday Eli wanted to play most of the day and when he was sleepy he wanted to be held. So we spent most of the day ogling and looking at each other. We're bonding so much and I'm falling so much in love with him. I say this because I was not one of those mothers who cried when they first saw their baby or felt an instant flow of love for this person who just miraculously appeared.
Let me explain .. Firstly I'm a direct and thick skinned person. I let a selected few people close to me and always have my guard up. With people I don't trust I tent to take a pessimistic approach to the relationship until they have proven themselves to me. I view relationships as a choice, as in you choose who you want to associate your time with therefore, if you are surrounded by malicious people then that's your choice and it's your choice to get yourself away from those people too.
So if those are my views on relationships how can you expect someone like me to meet someone I don't know and just love this person without first getting to know them a little more.
I recall a conversation about motherhood with another mother who asked me "didn't you just fall in love?" I didn't respond cause my answer would have been "No ... we don't know each other that well just yet."
I know regardless a mother will love their child but I can admit for me it didn't come instantly. I always thought the "bonding" they speak of between a mother and baby was for the baby's sake but I believe its for the mother as well.
