Life Trough: Three Year Old's

A lot of my good friends have had children now. Some ask me for some advice on things based on my past experiences, but mostly because I'm one of the first to have children amongst my circle of friends. 

When they're going through a rough time I say the one thing I use to not understand at the time; "It get's easier." And any parent will agree to some point, I mean everyone's experience is unique and different. But babies don't stay newborns forever so things do pass. 

There's a saying ... life is full of peaks and troughs, and right now in my parenting world I'm going through a trough. It's call having a three year old. I blogged about my experience of Eli's "terrible twos" but the drama with a three year old ... it's a whole new level that I'm struggling to deal with. 

*sigh* 

Where do I start? 

Epic tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants or he hears "No!" to his demands. He's selective about obeying instructions. He's forgotten the manners we've taught him and every request sounds like a rude command. Getting dressed takes so much time now. There's a tug of war fight to get his clothes off, a chase around the house to get him to put his undies back on, and loud threats to get new change of clothes on him. He's so much more vocal and loud about how he does things. He talks back with smart arse responses like "Oh kaaay. Don't get maad" ARGH!! 

It's a real test of my parenting skills and patience. It's hard to keep a cool head when you're subjected to the above behaviour constantly in addition to looking after another child ... it does my head in some days. I've had to send him to my parents and stay over night last week cause I just couldn't deal with the ... defiant behaviour anymore. 

I'm just waiting and looking forward to when I figure out this new phase and I'm more equipped and expectant to handle his behaviours ... he is only three for twelve more months.

Any advice on how to deal with the tantrum threes?

The Childcare Experience

As I've mentioned previously, Eli has started going to childcare twice a week.

It's a decision which was financially difficult to make as we had to consider whether it was an expense we needed on our budget especially on only one salary. We always knew the kids would go to child care prior to attending school as it was a discussion Ian and I had ages ago, so it was just a matter of when. When we found out I was pregnant with baby number two we knew that time would need to happen relatively soon for Eli. Why? Just so I could spend some one on one time with bub number 2.

I started the process again of inspecting various childcare centres and putting his name down on the crazy extensive waiting lists for the ones I liked. Then I contacted the ones I liked the last time I went through this process and fortunately one had availability and we jumped at the opportunity.

Leading up to his first full week we had a few "orientation days" or day visits where he went into the centre for a few hours and I stayed close by to the centre to gauge how he deals with the environment. First time he love it! Eli isn't shy naturally. He's not scared of new surroundings and he doesn't need convincing to participate in activities. Second time around I think he remembered that I would be leaving him there, so when I dropped him into his classroom he held my hand and dragged me along to the play area.

The following week was his first full two days at childcare. Ian decided to take the day off so he could be there to drop him off and pick him up in the afternoon. I think we all had good intentions but may have made the experience worse for Eli. When we dropped him off he cried and begged for us as we were leaving. The carer in charge of his classroom did call me later to give me a progress update on him but when we arrived that afternoon he was crying again. He didn't eat, he slept only for a few minutes and only when held, and when parents started arriving to pick up other children it upset him again.

The next day when I dropped him off he was latching onto my neck and tried to wrap his legs around my body. The carer had to peel him off me when I left and again called me later to give me an update. However when I picked him up that afternoon this time he was outside playing with other kids. When he did see me he ran up to me and gave me a hug but also left my side to play some more, which apparently is a good sign.

Over a month on and he's still adjusting. Some days he must peer out the car window and although we're still streets away from the centre, he's already saying "Ai don't want to go to ch'ald kare!" - amazes me how good his memory is. I try to put a positive spin the situation and tell him how much fun he'll have and that he gets to hang out with all his friends. Once we're in his room a teacher is still required to take him away from me but some days there aren't any tears.

It's funny cause some days, like the days he's being a handful, I'm so looking forward to dumping him at childcare, but then seeing him so upset every drop off makes me feel bad about leaving him there. I worry about how long he keeps crying after I leave, I worry he's upset the whole time he's there and I worry he's so unhappy about being there that he's not participating in anything. My biggest worry, only cause I witness it with another child when we were doing day visits, is that the carers have other children to attend to and ignore Eli even when he's clearly upset.

I've heard it may be like this for awhile and that all kids go through it.

Hope you start to look forward to going to childcare Eli. Mum and Dad love you and want you to have the right balance of experiences in life and this is the main reason why you go, even though I'm at home.

Any tips for making the childcare drop off experience less painful and stressful for everyone?

All smiles during his day visits

 First full day

Potty Training

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you would know that we recently decided to potty train Eli. It was a skill we were hoping Eli would have mastered before Kai arrived because I really didn't want to be changing two sets of nappies. But as usual that didn't happen, plus he wasn't sleeping unassisted yet either so we thought we'd face that battle first.

We decided to leave it until Ian was on holidays so we could share the "potty training" experience. I'm glad we agreed to that cause if it was just me ... I would have given up and cracked it four hours into it.

The Self Sleeping Journey ... Night 1

We decided after we get back from Hawaii we would make a serious attempt at getting Eli to teach himself to fall asleep on his own. This along with toilet training, child care shopping ... yep nesting phase has kicked in. More on those topics on another post ....

Currently Eli needs one of us next to him to fall asleep. He prefers to be hugged to fall asleep and he'll creep up close to your body if you're not hugging him. It's very sweet and its my favourite way to fall asleep too, but we're having another baby. 

I feel kinda sorry for Eli because all these changes that are occurring to him is all because of a new baby. I've always stressed to Ian that there is an inherited sense of responsibility from the eldest child whether they want it or not and it even applies to every day tasks. 

So tonight was the first time we seriously made the attempt to teach him how to self sleep. I took control and championed the process cause I know it's me he usually looks for at night and if mummy is dictating the new rules maybe he'll accept and adjust quicker. 

It took an hour from start to finally asleep but we did it. I didn't lie down with him although it was hard. not to. Not  because I'm 8 months pregnant and laying down would be so much more comfortable than sitting, but it's hearing him say "mummy sleep" every couple of minutes or resisting his hugs around my neck that made me almost crack. 

Another reason why I think there is a delay in the sleep process for him is he's always scratching. I've moisturised his whole body and re moisturised the areas he scratches but still it doesn't stop the "itch". There's no rash for him to scratch and because I've moisturised the area so much there isn't a rash the following day either. I don't know if its his clothing, is he over heating under the sheets or its just his way of getting himself to sleep? 

So how did we achieve night 1 into our self sleeping journey? Firstly, we agreed a nightly routine needs to be established from now on and we all need to stick to it. If it is broken one (or more) nights we will aim to get back to the routine as soon as possible. 

Eli's Nightly Routine:

1. Begin at 8pm
2. Start getting the house quiet. So turn off all unnecessary lights, turn off the tv and minimise sound in the home.
3. Prepare everything he needs to fall asleep. At present this is a bottle of milk and water.
4. Change him into PJ's (if not already), change his nappy and moisturise his whole body.
5. Join him in brushing teeth, monkey see monkey do 
6. Go to his bedroom and ask him to choose a book (or two) to read. 
7. Practice skills he is learning or already knows ie counting, alphabet, colours, days of the week, animal sounds, body parts etc
8. Say a prayer
9. Tuck him into bed and say good night's "See you in the morning!"
10. Turn off the light and quietly leave the room. 
11. If he's unsettled sit by his bed and sing songs or comfort him until he's quiet and relaxed. Comforting does not mean laying next to him.  
12. If he wakes in the middle of the night return quietly return him back to his room and bed and repeat steps 9 to 11. 

Tonight we got to step 9 then jump straight to 11. I think we were stuck on step 11 for about 40 minutes tonight. It's going to take some time but we'll get there.

Any other tips or suggestions to help a toddler self sleep?   

Terrible Two's

Lately we've noticed a behavioural change in Eli and as much as I accept children change constantly, the "change" we've been experiencing lately we've come to realise is here to stay a little longer. We thought about what it could be and it hit me one evening .... he's reached the "terrible two's."

It's not terrible at all. As in it's a milestone in their development. They've realised they have options, they're testing their boundaries and want some control - a progression not previously reached or realised. 

I think he may have reached this milestone a while ago, I was just not paying attention to the "signs" indicating this new phase. Signs such as:

• Tantrums! Yelling or screaming back at me when he doesn't get his way. Alligator tears sometimes make an appearance so it looks like he's really upset but the moment you give him what he wants the crying stops.
• Over use of the word "No!" by both mum/dad and Eli. To him the answer to every question is no and even when he wants to say yes he doesn't say no but moves his head in the other direction. We on the other hand begin every sentence with "No! Don't ...", "No! Eli ...", "No! Stop ..."
• Sudden change in appetite. I've tried changing his menu but still he doesn't seem to eat as much as he use to. He's realised he doesn't have to finish the wholesome meal I've prepared and discovered chocolate, cookie and ice cream are a lot tastier. And he can say those three items very clearly too.  
• Independence to want to do things on his own like feed himself, wash his own hands, brush his own teeth. That's great you might think, but adds time to getting ready or creates mess - basically additional work for me if I hadn't just assisted him instead.
• Mr  Bossy pants. He's suddenly discovered how to get his way, is to boss you into doing it for him. And if you wont then expect a tantrum. 
• Selective hearing. Previously he would help me put everything away now he ignores me but if I bribe him or suggest an activity we can do post helping me he seems to have heard me loud and clear.  
• Threatening him with "time out corner" suddenly has no impact and once he's there he cries like its bloody murder.  
• Increase in slapping, hitting and or banging objects with his hands. Even after asking him nicely to stop he finds it more amusing if he continues.  

So how does a parent deal with this new phase. I've been doing a lot of reading .. ok googling forums and unpublished advice. And the general answer is as a parent you need to look out for the signs and take control when it occurs. It's a time your child is discovering new things but finding it frustrating to explain or communicate what they want - hence the "terrible" behaviours.

Explain Boundaries: I've discovered this with Eli's sudden desire to imitate other kids with no fear. He'll climb up some play ground equipment designed for older kids or run towards the road when we first open the front door, he doesn't know where his boundaries are. As a parent you need to explain do's and don't and why. Why he can't climb the top of the juggle gym or why he can't just run off. Apparently expect to be repeating these conversations until they finally get it.  

Give Selected Options: They want to feel a sense of control so instead of telling them what to do give them options that allow them to choose what they want to do. For example this morning Eli was jumping on my back during breakfast. He obviously wants a piggy back but obviously this isn't the time so I explained this to him and asked him whether he wanted to sit next to me on another chair or sit on his couch? He chose to sit on his couch.   

Communicate: Only way they will understand boundary limits, right from wrong or get them to start to tell you what they want is to be constantly communicating with them. I've never heard the sound of my voice as much as I do now as a parent. Also if people have never heard me raise my voice spend an hour or two with Eli and I.  

Know When to Walk Away: Ultimately you are the parent, you control the situation and your child needs to understand this. So there will be some battles where you will need to put your foot down - so be prepared. I'm open to administering a good firm smack if the behaviour deserves it, that's how our parents did it back in the day.

So another discovery in mummy land, another milestone for my little boy. He turns two in a few days and it just makes me reaslise how quickly he's growing.

Some photographic evidences of this new milestone.

Tantrums anywhere ... he does not discriminate on location

 The world is not big enough for him. Always exploring and running around. 

 "I do it!" to feeding himself

Climbing equipment obviously too dangerous for him

Going down slides are over rated ... he is fearless. I, on the other hand had dashed over the first time I witness this

Yo Gabba Gabba

A few weekends ago we took the little man to his first little concert.

The whole Yo Gabba Gabba cast including DJ Lance Rock! was in town. Eli loves Yo Gabba Gabba. He loves the characters and he really gets into it when he hears their catchy songs. I guess he was exposed to it from a very early age and so the loyalty and familiarity developed. 

The concert was held under the Big Top at Luna Park, a very fitting location for the concert. Place was children friendly with rides, lots of entertainment and right by the water. Unfortunately it was extremely cold and windy that day making it a little difficult to enjoy the outdoors. However we rugged up the little guy nice and warm and made the most of the day.

At first Eli was really quiet I think he was still a little drowsy from the drugs he had that morning. He was currently on antibiotics from a bit he got. Luckily he knew all the songs the cast sang so he eventually losen up and got into it. 

Next Top Model

I did it.

I entered .... my son into a talent agency.

People have suggested I enter him into one for quite some time now and with me not working I figured why not.

Let the men of this household work while mummy enjoys the life of leisure. Ha! Any parent at home will know that not the case with young children.

It's something for him to do, gets me out and about and I have no expectations, just that I get copies of the beautiful photos he's in, if he ever gets in.

His interview was at North Sydney and prior to his interview I decided to take him to Luna Park. Place was busy as it's school holidays at the moment. He loved all the loud noise, other children about and all the constant movement around him, he didn't know where to look.

First night in his own bed

At the beginning of this week we purchased a bed for the little man, three days later it was delivered. Very impressed by the service Oz Design Furniture (Auburn). Next day I purchased sheets, mattress protectors, a quilt and pillows. I washed everything and last night was the night. 

The night Eli will sleep in his own bed for the first time and the night we will commit to putting him back into his bed every time he woke up and crawled into ours. 

We started the bed time routine at 9pm. Any earlier he's not tired enough and just makes us tired trying to force him to sleep. We read books, sang songs, practice the skills he knows such as the alphabet, counting to 20, 'where is your ....', said a prayer then finally I told him 'it's lights out'. So we turned off all the lights and he started his nightly ritual of tossing and turning until he found his "sweet spot" for the night. By 10:15pm he was asleep.

I went to sleep around 12:15am myself. I'm going through waves of insomnia lately. I recall hearing him wake at one point at night but Ian was still awake. I could hear them talking and playing. (Argh! he should've put him back to sleep straight away, not encourage him to stay awake.) I heard him eventually make it to our room but Ian quickly took him away and closed our door. He came back banging on our door crying, poor baby. Ian must've gotten him back to sleep because I recall waking at one point and only Ian was next to me.

Then in the early hours of the morning I felt someone pulling against my side of the bed, then climb over me and snuggle into my arms. He looked at me with his big eyes and smiled. I smiled back and for a split second was content of having him back in my arms, but I knew letting him stay would be three steps back. So I continued to hold him in my arms and together we walked back into his room while I told him "lets go back to your bed." We snuggled and instantly he was asleep. I thought about staying in bed with him, but again I knew he had to get use to being alone in his own bed. I waited a few minutes and returned back to my bed. 

He's growing up so fast. He really isn't a baby anymore but my little toddler man. I say to Ian sometimes "remember when he was a baby and he was quiet?" He's got such a big personality now it surprises us everyday cause the son we knew a few weeks ago didn't normally do this or act like that or say those words. 

We're actually disciplining him now too. We give him warnings before we enforce the punishment. We opted for the "time out corner" method. We did started saying the "naughty corner" but he picked up the word naughty quickly and says it all the time. A word we don't really want him repeating or believing he is, so we changed the label to "time out" instead. 

When we place him there we explain to him why he's being put there and tell him how long he has to stay there, usually 1-2 minutes. Surprisingly he quickly picked up that he must stay in that spot for as long as we tell him, although he does attempt to escape from the spot sometimes. Other times he fake cries while he's there too. You can hear sobbing sounds and he has placed his hands over his face but the moment you tell him he can leave the corner, the sobbing immediately stops, hands come down from face, he says a cute "sow-wee" and smiles. What Ian and I find funny though is sometimes we've only given him a warning that he'll be put in the time out corner but he'll be already walking himself to the spot sometimes crying too, making it really hard not to laugh. 

Eli, you are such a joy.

I Hate Crying

Eli is going through his first round of sicknesses. As I mentioned in a previous post he first got sick with gastro during the Australia long weekend and now he has caught our cold and flu. I say our's because I first had it, then Ian and now the little man. 

And because he is sick he is so needy. He wants me (and only me) to be physically close to him at all times and he wants to be held constantly. That's fine .... for the first couple of days but two weeks later I reached my boiling point. 

He cries the moment you leave the room, he wont sleep unless you're next to him and the amount of nurturing he's demanding ... it's over whelming. Add to that a boy who's unwell and unable to tell you what's bothering him, I just had enough.

There's no use in yelling at him cause one, he yells back at me and two, it just upsets him even more. There's no point in disciplining him cause it's not completely his fault. So when I was trying to cook dinner tonight and he screamed at my feet for him to pick him up I just ignored him. I let him cry and scream at me while I got on with it. 

I hate hearing my son cry. Not cause I don't want him to cry but they sound of my own child crying annoys me. I do whatever it takes to shut that noise down. So to just let him scream his lungs out and in such close proximity to my ears ... it tested my patience. 

But you know what, 10 minutes later he stopped crying. He realised mum's busy right now and he got on with it too. He stopped screaming, then stopped crying and moved onto something new. And when I was ready to play again he forgot about how I ignored him and we played. 

What an eye opener. Why didn't I do this before? I get so caught up in not wanting to upset him that it was upsetting me. I need to get comfortable with hearing my children cry cause there is still several years of that to come and I need to be able to stand my ground and say "No". I'm such a softy (or push over as Ian calls it) to my son at times.

First Week as a SAHM

You'd think I'd have so much more time to blog since I'm no longer working, (this seems to be a recurring statement / excuse) but surprisingly being a stay at home mum you're not left with a lot of free time to yourself.

I saw an article one of my friends on facebook posted called 'Why don't parents with kids have time'. The article is a response from the author in regards to the question stated in the title. I'm sure most parents will relate to some or all parts of the article as I could relate to wanting to be alone with my thoughts the first 10 minutes I get to myself. That time I usually put my feet up, unwind to some adult television program and give ABC4Kids a break.

Anyways this first week alone with Eli was valuable and a discovery about my son and staying at home life. This week I've also started to put him into a routine, something we couldn't commit to while working and living with family. I've got him eating three meals a day which I knew he wasn't doing before. At home I've tested the boundaries of his allergies and yep he's still allergic to most of the items he's not aloud to eat. Being at home I've been able to monitor his skin and keep it considerably clear and healthy. He's so much more responsive and more and more of his personality is starting to show. He copies behaviors he notices I do and does it back to me. He's a little chatter box he's always up for a conversation and he does get frustrated when you don't understand what he's trying to say. 

He's at that stage where he does "naughty" things and it's up to me to help him understand good from bad. He's expanding his vocabulary and can ask for things and I'm trying to teach him 'please', 'thank you' and 'sorry'. His learning and creativity is totally up to me and how much time and effort I put into his nurturing as I've come to realise for now I am his teacher.

Being at home I feel I must keep a well maintained home which when I was working I did the best I could with the limited time, but being at home there's no excuse ... right? or is it just me and my high expectations? I find myself doing some form of cleaning everyday, running errands and cooking a home meal every night, something I don't mind and was one of my goals this year.

As I friend who is unemployed said 'even though you are at home you do find something to keep you busy all day'.
  
This week is Ian and I's 4 years anniversary and another long weekend trip away with friends so it's another busy week of pre planning and celebrations.
 
Hope you all have a great week.   

Reasons why I haven't been blogging

I know, I know ... I've been pretty poor with the lack of posts lately. You would think someone who isn't working would have all the time in the world to be able to post regularly ... wrong!

One of the main reasons I haven't posted is hubby is still on leave and I rather not waste his precious holiday time blogging, I can do that when he's at work. That said I've also been utilising his time off to get some help around the house. Not just with Eli but general house keeping and home improvements. We're still unpacking and rearranging our home since our move in October.

One reason why I haven't been able to blog is Eli has been very needy and is my constant shadow lately. I think he's reached that point, the point where a child only prefers one parent in particular and only wants to be with that one parent. Ian has to physically peel him off me when he tries to take Eli away from me. My ever move he wants to be close restricting me to do much at all, hence why Ian's presence has been very usefully lately.

Another reason why he wants extra cuddles is the poor guy hurt himself really bad on Monday. One minute he was eating his potato gems watching tv, next he turned 180 degrees, loss his balance and landed face first on the tiles. There was a big cut on his chin and blood coming everywhere in his mouth. At first I thought he had bitten through the skin of chin. While we tried to cease the blood Ian thought maybe he lost some of his teeth but he soon realised the solid bits he could feel were the potato gems.

Straight away Ian wanted to take him to the doctors. My first instinct was to clean him up and assess the injury but seeing the amount of blood still flowing I agreed to go to the doctors. I suggested to go to his local doctors at The Practice, but he insisted to go to the local hospital.

Later on as I recalled that events of that day, it was interesting how we processed the same situation. I wanted to wait and see how bad it was, believing it wasn't that bad and he was at the other side of the scale, straight to the hospital. Growing up no one in our family ever went to the hospital for any reason. Yes that is a good thing and knock on wood it continues ... but we just didn't jump to those measures. We normally just dealt with whatever pain or sickness we had with a sense of ... strength, will power, apathy. Those were the kind of values that were instilled in me and makes me the person I am today but is it the kind of values I want to teach Eli or my children?

I believe how we react to all situations is fundamentally the same. How we react is based on our personality, characteristics and values. It's hard to act one way towards a situation and act differently in another situation. My attitude towards physical pain is a reflection on how I deal with emotional pain ... strength, will power, apathy. Yes there is no harm in containing these values, but the values I wasn't taught but (still) learning to exhibit are attributes to balance out the bleak characteristics.

I was taught to be tough in all situations, to show no emotions, no weakness. It's this attitude which has helped and failed me throughout my life. I won't talk of the good it has done because those who know me personally know how I am and how my personality has helped me in certain situations. The repercussion of my characteristics has hindered me from asking for help when I needed it, speaking up when I've had enough or hurting others because I wouldn't waive my behavior. Those are the kinds of lessons learnt I actually want to teach my children. It's not all about being strong minded but being able balance the right characteristics between defiant and humbleness.

Well this post was a surprise. Here I was just planning to write a short update on reasons why I have been MIA, update (and potential post) other draft posts I have written about other topics i.e. holidays, managing money, allergies but ended up writing what was going through my mind at this point in time. So I'll post it, complete with all grammatical and spelling errors, enjoy. Exhaustion has suddenly hit me now, goodnight.        

Proud Mummy Rant

During my lunch time run today I was thinking about my son. I think I was thinking about him cause I'm so jealous my husband is spending the next 5 weeks paid to hang out with him. I thought about how much he’s changed in the past few months between now and his first birthday. He’ll be 17 months of age by the end of the year and I wanted to take the time to write down those changes now so the “future Cam” can reread this post, smile and reflect on this season of his life.

You are becoming more coherent and picking up things so quickly. Like when you sit on the couch and find the remote controller, raise and point it toward the tv because you see us do that. Or how you pick up our iphone, put it against your ear and say “ahh-nee!!” (that must mean hello in your language) then put the phone against our ear and say “ahh-nee” again.

You’re persistent especially when you’ve set your mind on something. If you want to grab that item you can see on top of a table you’ll stand on your cute tiny tippy toes and reach out for the object with your tiny arms. If that fails you will find whatever resources you can, like pushing a chair towards the table or pretend you want to be picked up, only to use us so you can get closer to what you want. May you continue to have this attitude in life, never giving up on something you’ve put your mind to even when you face road blocks.

You love music. You love to sing, your favorite songs right now is the alphabet song, bah bah black sheep and twinkle twinkle little star. I love how I'll sing a-z and you chime in at “Now I know my abc …” and sing the rest of the song on your own. Then clap your hands and say “yeeeaahhhaa!!” cheering for yourself afterwards.

You know where your head, shoulders, ears, mouth, eyes and nose are and where those parts are located on me.

You don’t know how to just walk at a normal pace. As soon as your feet touches the ground you’re off in a sprint walking like motion. You’re getting better at not falling over yourself but really you need to slow down. You gravity to any open space. If there is light coming from the smallest crack you will dash over to that light as if you’re making a jail break escape. It’s so cute but annoying as I don’t trust you to stay still in public areas.

You love cuddles and kisses and I love giving them to you. You want to be physically close to people. You love to position yourself snugly under my arms or on top of my chest when we sleep.

When you do something cheeky or naughty you say “oooh no!” like you weren't the culprit yet avoid eye contact when you know I’m telling you off.

You’re such a boy where play time involves wrestling, flipping upside down and climbing. You smell like one too when you sweat. You smell like a sweeter version of daddy ... I'm not looking forward to your smelly teen years.

You are strong and have no fear, always climbing up or down the highest part of the couch, chair or table.

You love to read and be read books. I love how you would grab a book from your shelf and bring it to me saying “boo k!”. You love to control who turns the pages so you will always position yourself between the reader and the book.

I think you understand things or repetitive processes you’re exposes to, like how you know to squat and make room for my hand when you’re standing and I’m putting your onesie together. Giving me space and an oppoutunity to fix you up.

You love balloons and balls. You find them and gravitate to them in every situation, like when we're at the shops and you saw a balloon sticking out from a pram located at the other side of the center. You ran and tried to grab that balloon, unfortunately it wasn’t mine to give to you.

You’re coordinated (like mum ha!). You know how to kick a ball and when you’re concentrating can catch one too. You know how to stack your blocks in order to make a tower and then collapse them in the opposite order to store each block within the bigger block.

You smile all the time and bring a smile to everyone. You’re so adorable and very cute, if I do say so myself.

As much as I want to keep you a baby forever I want you to keep growing and developing I’m excited to see more of who you will become. You make us very proud already.   

Mr Rapunzel

I took Eli out to get his haircut again. It had grown (obviously cause hair does that) and getting in his eyes again. 

Last time (and the first time he ever got his hair cut) the barbara who cut it must not understand the word "trim" cause he basically cut most of the length off.

This time I still went to a barbara, I specifically said I want to keep the length I only want to get the hair off his eyes. He asked me what number I wanted on the sides and I said "4".

But it still ended up short. Ian's going to be mad at me again ....

Admittedly getting a 16 month old baby to sit still and not cry hysterically from the razors buzzing around him is not easy. A friend says her 2.5 year old still cries at the hairdressers but at least now he knows to sit still while its happening. 

 

The haircut was only achieved by pinned down his arms and the barbara holding his head still. At first it was funny but towards the end I was just getting irritated at the barbara. Firstly from his BO it was so potent even after I got home and took a shower his smell is still lingering in my nose. Secondly, he was taking so long to cut his hair and the longer he took the more upset Eli got. His colleagues even had to tell him to hurry up or give the kid a break his cries was obviously making everyone uncomfortable. Thirdly, annoyed that he did not listen to my instructions and I could see how short he was cutting Eli's hair.

Next haircut Ian can take him or do it himself. 

Also what's with charging adult prices for children or it is just inflation? Last time I got his hair cut I walked to ever hair salon at the shopping center and the prices range from $17.50-$29, he's not even 2 years of age. So I decided to take him to my new local shops, still paid $14 for a cut I'm not satisfied with.

Any tips to get a baby boy to sit still at the hair dressers?

What We Parents Do

Eli can’t say balloon yet he says “baaww” instead … it’s so cute

On Saturday it was Mr V’s 2^nd birthday party which was held at a local pub near us. I appreciate how these venues have embraced the need to be family friendly and have updated their facilities to cater for children. There is a dedicated play ground, games room and a jumping castle on offer for kids.

Through out the party Eli kept gravitating to balloons. First the balloons Mr V had then to the helium filled one’s from another party. One of the guests noticed he kept coming back to their table and gave him one. We attached it to his arm and he would grab it and try to bite it. I was waiting for it to pop in his face. He eventually realised if he let go of the balloon it would fly away from his hands so he kept a tight grip on the string.

This morning I get a call from home. It was my mum telling me the balloon escaped. Eli was with my dad at the front yard and he had his baaww with him outside. So of course the predictable would happen, the balloon flew away. My mum said after the incident he still kept asking for "baaww"

I called Ian and told him about the incident. That evening he had a new replacement "baaww" for him. A bigger, stronger and more expensive one too. 

Have you ever done something above and beyond to please your infant child knowing that they'll never remember it? 

Eli's 1st Birthday

It's been over a month since I last posted on here. 

As I have mentioned previously I'm really bad at committing to write in a blog. I forget all about it and when I do want to blog its nothing blog worthy (in my opinion) just some random thoughts I want to take note of, because when/if I re read those comments later on I know what I'm referring to. Surely there must be an app where I can take notes of my random thoughts especially when I'm on the go.

So since my last post my little man turn into a bigger little man and had his first birthday. I can't believe he's 1! I can't believe its been a year since I popped him out ... naturally and in 25mins.

His superheroes themed birthday party was really cute with most children guests rocking up in costume. We hired a ball pit and a jumping castle which was smart idea as it allowed parents to put their kids in a gated area leaving their arms free to at least ate. My sisters decorated the venue to match the theme and sister I was the hostess with the mostess in charge of the games. Food wise it was a filo style menu with filo spaghetti, spring rolls, fried chicken, sweet bread and letchon. He received so many gift and people once again were so generous in their giving. He really is loved and we are so grateful for such wonderful people in his life.

And he can walk now too ... He started walking a month prior to his birthday

Our super little man ... 

Happy 1st Birthday Elijah, you changed our world and also the center of it. Mummy and Daddy love you so much

7 Months Today

It was little jing jing’s 7 month old celebrations yesterday. I really wish I could keep him as a baby forever. I wish babies remained this cute and perfect for a longer period of time. He’ll be talking back to me and getting married before I know it. I’m going to miss this precious and innocent season of their lives.

Another reason why I don’t want him to grow up is the older he gets the more mobile he becomes therefore exposing him to more dangerous and threats that is out there in the world. I know we can’t hide our children and I want him to live his life to the fullest I just fear for his safety especially when I’m not around. I worry about those who would want to harm him and I hope he doesn’t make regrettable mistakes.

I know I can’t avoid all these things but I hope to equip him to face these challenges in life. Equip him in ways I don’t think I was equipped to do so. Yes my parents implemented a nurturing and stable unbringing but there were so many unspoken conversations. Actually we didn’t really talk about things when I was growing up so I met certain cross roads or experiences with fear of the unknown

I plan to constantly talk to my children. Talk to them so they aren’t afraid to talk to me about anything. I want them to feel comfortable to discuss any topic, safe to share their options and open to tell me their experience.

Busy Mum Excuse & Eli Update

Its been awhile since I’ve posted.

I now understand the mother excuse “when I get the time to do it”. There really isn’t enough time in the day, in the week to do everything you need to do. I get thorough my tasks as much as I can when I can. I literally start something, stop mid way through the task, then next minute start something else. The time frame between these cycles can be anything from a minute to several hours. This process is occurring for about 3-4 tasks simultaneously. No wonder I hardly sleep, no wonder I can’t sleep, no wonder I’m exhausted.

Eli has grown so much in the past few weeks. I look at him and I realise how quickly time is flying and he’s not that little fragile baby I took home July last year. He’s eating his home made baby food with such excitement. I’m so pleased he loves to eat and eat so much of it. I guess it there's some truth to what the midwife at the prenatal class suggested. Which was to continue to breastfeed and hold back introducing baby food as late as possible will set their tummies ready for solids. Eli is loving all the new foods in his diet.

He’s master the art of sitting on his own and standing up .. then grabbing onto anything that he can pull himself up on. I love walking into his room to find him standing up in his cot, smiling to see you. I also love walking in and finding him playing quietly in his cot with the limited toys he has in there.

He has a thing for edges and corners. He grabs corners of blankets and pillows. He’s fascinated by the corners of his play mat so much so he tries to pull it apart. He’s getting to that age where you can’t leave lost items too close or else his fast hands will quickly grab them. And that grip …. Where do babies have such strength?

It’s great having our families look after him especially in this critical stage of development. The only draw back is there are three different techniques of nurturing going on and this can be annoying when you’re trying to instill a process and routine. Before I went to work I could put Eli into his cot sleepy and he knew how to put himself to sleep. Now we’re finding this technique does not work. 

Here's a recent pic of the cheeky and growing little man

Raising Kids

My maternity leave time is almost over.

Those six months flew so fast although at the start they felt like the longest days ever. I recall the first month and the adjustment to the change in my life. There were times I feared certain times of the day like in the morning, trying to be as alert as possible for the early feeds as I did not get much sleep the night before. The afternoons the long hall trying to get him to settle enough to sleep and the evenings the juggling act of carefully placing him in his bassinet hoping not to wake him.

Reflecting on the last five months it seems sleep, or the lack of it for Eli and I was the key struggle we had.

We starting to prepare for my come back to work. We've spoken to both our parents about arrangement for Eli on days I am working. 

I think about whether I would be upset returning back to work. I know I'm going to miss being around  him all day but cry ... I don't know. I didn't even cry when I gave birth. I'll probably be sad and feel a sense of guilt, but what working mom doesn't feel that. 

As I enter back into work I reflect on how hard both my parents worked to raise us kids. There's one memory I have when I was in year one, there was a school event, a parade from memory where parents were invited to come to the school to watch. I remember wishing my parents were there to watch and how sad it made me feel that they weren't. I remember feeling envious of the other kids whose parents were there. I know my parents needed to work as hard as they did to ensure we lived in a comfortable home, went to good schools and provide as much as they possibly could. Our parents had to make sacrifices to give us the life we have now.

Of course I didn't understand that when I was young. All I ever felt growing up was how much more I wanted my parents to be around. How lonely I felt unable to open up to my family because we didn't talk. How so caught up they were in the daily grind that they were too exhausted to talk. 

Having a child has awaken the childhood feelings I've learnt to suppress. I reflect on the behaviours from my parents that I didn't understand or made me feel horrible. I want to ensure I avoid those pitfalls and raise my son differently to how I was raised. I want to build on a strong relationship built on open communication, patience and trust.                    

"Eli I don't want to go back to work I promise to give you as much attention as you need when I am around you. I promise to dedicate the time I'm with you to nurturing you and teaching you everything I know." - Love Mama     

Worst Mum Ever!

Today was my son's first injury ... well technically the nail cutting incident where I accidently pinched his finger with the nail cutter was his first. 

After Eli's bath and a feed I attempted to put the little guy to sleep. He was somewhat asleep and decided to put him in our bed to nap cause I figured he would get up later on that night for another feed plus he seems to sleep longer when he is in our bed. I faced him forward on the bed, tapped him into his 'nearly there' asleep state, placed the blanket over him and walked away. Ten minutes later I could hear him whinging in our room. It was still the soft spasmodic cries so I didn't attend to him straight away. Soon it got louder and constant so decided to go up and check him out. 

As I was at the bottom of the stairs I hear a loud thump on the ground ... I knew it was Eli. I knew he had fallen off the bed. Both Ian and I ran upstairs to the bedroom. Ian was just yelling "WHY?!" as I ran into the bedroom and found Eli lying on his back on the floor, crying hysterically. Ian punched the bed, again asking "Why did you leave him on the bed?" with such judgement. I just held Eli close, comforted him and kept saying "I'm sorry".

I felt around his body and head to see if there are any bumps and lumps worried he fell head first. I slowly moved his limbs checking to see he didn't break anything and I prayed nothing serious internally has happened either. 

Worst feeling ever! I felt so responsible for his fall. He's so tiny and precious and perfect and I feel like I failed to watch over him even though I've been watching over him the past four and a half months. I don't care if people say I'm spoiling him by always holding him  I don't ever want something like that to happen again.

New rules:

1. Bub's must always sleep in his cot if left alone
2. Must stay with bubs if left sleeping on a bed

Besides the incident he managed to get a photo with this guy today ...

 Eli .. the ultimate wing man  

Look at that smile. It took one shot to get that photo.

Mummy's so sorry.

Four Months Ago

I gave birth to this little cheeky monkey ...

Mummy and Daddy love you so much. You have filled our lives with so much love, happiness and fulfilment - you complete our world.